try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
