Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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