I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize