he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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