Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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