he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
