I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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