So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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