So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
