the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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