do herpes really smell.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
