no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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