Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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