all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
