I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
sex in a hospital.. check
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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