I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
