Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
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Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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