He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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