i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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