i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
