now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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