i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
