She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
