Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
