Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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