So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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