The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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