Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
