I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
