Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
