whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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