before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
