Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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