I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
only you would photoshop your dick
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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