sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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