Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
