It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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