so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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