every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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