Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
