i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
