How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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