You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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