Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
