This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
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Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
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Bang-toberfest begins!!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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