Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
