Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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