Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
