The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
