He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
