i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
