The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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