Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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