Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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