Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
