Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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