Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
