Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?

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  (925): is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong? http://tfl.nu/a78d
  Replies (53) Good night (4979) Bad night (1575)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.

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  (248): the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot. http://tfl.nu/4bij
  Replies (20) Good night (2494) Bad night (913)
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  (+91): View more from India

  Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.

  (+91): View more from India

  what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?

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  (+91): Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step. (+91): what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her? http://tfl.nu/u7i2
  Replies (11) Good night (753) Bad night (2282)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?

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  (803): I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low? http://tfl.nu/crwl
  Replies (13) Good night (1156) Bad night (4807)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab

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  (216): So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab http://tfl.nu/z45l
  Replies (20) Good night (4422) Bad night (1549)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.

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  (229): You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right. http://tfl.nu/bvcn
  Replies (12) Good night (4833) Bad night (949)
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  (530): View more from California

  he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.

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  (530): he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning. http://tfl.nu/2vwb
  Replies (11) Good night (2546) Bad night (1034)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.

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  (501): There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at. http://tfl.nu/jo9n
  Replies (5) Good night (2259) Bad night (694)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak. 

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  (206): There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.  http://tfl.nu/3ssu
  Replies (3) Good night (1748) Bad night (576)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to

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  (703): We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to http://tfl.nu/xfm2
  Replies (7) Good night (1976) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Olive Garden will never be the same.

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  (803): She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH" (864): Olive Garden will never be the same. http://tfl.nu/o2p7
  Replies (10) Good night (1959) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Security deposit gone.

  (269): View more from Michigan

  burned down garage with fireworks.

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  (269): Security deposit gone. (269): burned down garage with fireworks. http://tfl.nu/rlam
  Replies (5) Good night (542) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand

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  (802): My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand http://tfl.nu/akgx
  Replies (1) Good night (524) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.

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  (443): Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again. http://tfl.nu/t0yv
  Replies (4) Good night (283) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that

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  (814): I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that http://tfl.nu/9sqv
  Replies (0) Good night (212) Bad night (150)

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