I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....