Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?

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(203): Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night? http://tfl.nu/k5ad

Replies (5) Good night (675) Bad night (1670)
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(863): View more from Florida

Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!

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(863): Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/werm

Replies (9) Good night (974) Bad night (1992)
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(512): View more from Texas

Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.

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(512): Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker. http://tfl.nu/5qzf

Replies (9) Good night (911) Bad night (2990)
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(559): View more from California

So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best

(310): View more from California

and??

(559): View more from California

Cake is only good when you eat it

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(559): So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best (310): and?? (559): Cake is only good when you eat it http://tfl.nu/ifoq

Replies (19) Good night (974) Bad night (4357)
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(214): View more from Texas

No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix

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(214): No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix http://tfl.nu/3cn5

Replies (11) Good night (710) Bad night (3682)
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(702): View more from Nevada

i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.

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(702): i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again. http://tfl.nu/kiui

Replies (23) Good night (5968) Bad night (1292)
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(650): View more from California

I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets

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(650): I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets http://tfl.nu/bg6i

Replies (28) Good night (4726) Bad night (2168)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

I take back everything I said about communal showers

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(865): I take back everything I said about communal showers http://tfl.nu/iybg

Replies (5) Good night (3700) Bad night (1035)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.

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(414): Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night. http://tfl.nu/g1a2

Replies (5) Good night (1179) Bad night (1200)
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(718): View more from New York

He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.

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(718): He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head. http://tfl.nu/789t

Replies (12) Good night (2973) Bad night (1045)
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(914): View more from New York

Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.

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(914): Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging. http://tfl.nu/hkzz

Replies (3) Good night (1630) Bad night (472)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.

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(651): Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation. http://tfl.nu/3ty8

Replies (3) Good night (634) Bad night (645)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die

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(717): Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die http://tfl.nu/2ynw

Replies (3) Good night (516) Bad night (1360)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

I can't even make a guess how that goes.

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(405): No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved. (1-405): I can't even make a guess how that goes. http://tfl.nu/9wcc

Replies (3) Good night (370) Bad night (396)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid

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(604): Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid http://tfl.nu/spz2

Replies (1) Good night (597) Bad night (329)

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