My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
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just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
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He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.