Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
