guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
