I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My life is pants optional.
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