I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
