her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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