I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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