idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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