and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
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His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
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Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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