once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
