from now on my penis is your penis
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
