16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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